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Struggle

Have you ever noticed common themes in your life? I often find that these themes recur because there's still something God wants to teach us. When I think back on my life, a dominant theme for me is Struggle.  My parents divorced when I was in second grade. Although they tried to keep peace in our family, there was plenty of the natural tension and strife that divorce brings - arguments, anxiety, attachment issues, parents dating other people and remarrying, etc. Thinking back on those years, it felt like I was always adjusting to something new - a new adult in the picture, a new house, a new neighborhood. There were a lot of changes.  Additionally, my father developed Lupus and passed when I was the tender age of 16. Growing up with an ill parent is exceedingly complicated, and losing them at a young age is even more so. I try to focus on the happy memories I have of my father, but with those are lots of memories of visiting him in the hospital, him often not having the stami...
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Angry/Sad

Kids go through so many phases during their growing-up years. Some of mine included: drawing, creating things out of cardboard (I even made a hot air balloon for my Barbies, ok!), a deep love for animals (I wanted to be a veterinarian for a long time), dancing, writing, being very concerned for anyone who was alone in public and constantly asking my mom if people eating alone at restaurants could come eat with us (much to my chagrin her answer was always no since she was a single mom with 3 young daughters; not the ideal scenario for asking a stranger to join your table)...and the list goes on.  Once I hit middle school though, I hit my angry phase. During my 7th grade year in particular I think I was mad every day about something: mad at my teachers, mad at having to do homework, mad at my mom, mad at my sisters, mad that I had to wear glasses. My Lord in heaven I was mad. Honestly, I always chalked this angry phase up to middle school hormones but more recently I think there was ...
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Why I'm Writing

The past three years have been rough. We moved back to Nashville in 2019 and within about a year the tornado hit and we were displaced when COVID started. Good times. Then I had back-to-back COVID infections and we had to move out of our house with toxic mold while I still dealt with long COVID symptoms. There's a lot more I could discuss here but I'll save that for another post another time. This time period was a pretty rough round of punches that I'm still recovering from. I distinctly remember one of the last nights in our old house after Gwen was in bed Joel and I were packing things up and asking each other if we'd made a mistake moving to Nashville. Lots of signs pointed to yes. But we weren't ready to give up yet. By the time we sold the house and made it to last summer I was extremely sick, barely functional and exhausted. We dragged ourselves and what was left of our belongings into my parents' house where we'd live for the summer. I walked back to...
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